Remarriage

        Remarriage is the act of a person marrying another person who already has made a marriage covenant but has been put away through divorce. In the Old Testament divorce was permitted on the grounds of something indecent which caused however it never directs a divorced man to be remarried. Remarriage was practiced in the Old Testament, but was never addressed as being evil yet this does not make it an acceptable practice. For polygamy was practiced throughout the Old Testament, and it was also not condemned as evil; so it cannot be assumed that silence equates God's approval. For God does indicate how he feels about remarriage:
"If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her is not to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord." (Deut.24:1-4)
Therefore a woman who was divorced then remarried to someone else was considered by God- under the old covenant- as being defiled by her second marriage!

        In the New Testament we must see what the scriptures actually teach concerning remarriage. We need to stay with in the boundaries of what was said and not what one wants to imply from them. For we are warned:
"Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God." (2 Jn.9)
We need to ask ourselves, "Exactly what did Jesus teach when he change the law for divorce?
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.. (Mt.5:32)
The conclusion we can draw concerning remarriage seems clear: The person who is divorced for fornication commits adultery through remarriage. Some infer that the innocent party is free to remarry, yet Christ did not say that. When Jesus was approached by the Pharisees concerning divorce for any and every reason, Matthew focused on the conversation with the Pharisees about a change in law, that only for fornication was divorce permissible. The question that the Pharisees asked was on divorce and not remarriage. Christ did not say, "that anyone who divorces his wife for fornication and marries another does not commit adultery." Rather we read:
"They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." (Mt.19:7-9)
Christ, in answer to their question whether it is lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason is stating the answer "No". The "except for fornication" is not an exception that allows remarriage on that grounds but rather an exception of being the only reason for which God accepts divorce. For no longer do we stone the adulterer or adulteress and their lover to death. What some like to infer can be cleared up when we consider Mark's account. Mark's account of the same incident doesn't focus on the verbal exchange with the Pharisees or on the change of law, rather he focuses on the private conversation that happened later with the disciples when they went back into the house. They had questions concerning the condition of a person who has divorced his spouse for fornication then remarries:
When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." (Mk.10:10-12)
This conversation was after Jesus had established with the Pharisees that fornication was the only grounds for divorce. The disciples must of sought a judgement on someone who remarries after being divorced for fornication, as it was left open ended. The conclusion that Christ makes concerning someone who divorces because their spouse committed fornication, is that the innocent party commits adultery when they remarry. This caused the disciples to respond:
The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it." (Mt.19:10-12 NIV)
The disciples had a hard time with Christ's teaching for even though it allowed divorce for fornication, it prevented remarriage except for death. Christ radically change divorce when he made an allowance for a wife to divorce her husband if he commits fornication- which was unheard of in that day. Yet the conclusion on remarriage is still the same, that though she be the innocent party, she is an adulterer if she remarries. In Luke's gospel he doesn't mention the exchange at all, rather he concludes:
"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (Lk.18:18)
Luke concludes that both the innocent party who divorced the fornicator and the fornicator who was divorced, are guilty of adultery should they be remarried. This strengthens two points, first that divorce does not release a person from their marriage covenant and second, that God expects al members of a marriage covenant to remain faithful and does not treat the guilty party different then the innocent party. For the marriage covenant is for life so only after a person is released from the marriage covenant through death, are they free to remarry:
"By law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from the law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man." (Ro.7:2,3)
The previous scripture does not clarify whether the person be the innocent party or the guilty party who committed fornication, as it is immaterial- both become adulterers through remarriage. The Bible is painstakingly clear, only death of a spouse releases a person from the covenant of marriage. Remarriage at any time other then after the death of a spouse places one in the state of adultery. Man separates by divorce, making allowance for remarriage, but the Bible calls divorced people who remarry an adulterers. For God separates by death:
"A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord." (1Co.7:39)
It is only after the death of one's spouse that he is freed from the marriage commitment and is free to pursue another marriage covenant. For a person who divorces a spouse on the grounds of fornication, has only two options while their spouse lives:
"But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not send his wife away." (1Co.7:10,11 NASB)
As long as the fornicator is alive, reconciliation is possible, but the moment we date towards remarriage, we have given up on reconciliation and our marriage covenant. Therefore the Bible presents a clear message: remarriage is allowed only after the death of a spouse. It is the only grounds that a person who has made a marriage covenant can use to be free to be remarried.

        Some churches allow remarriage when an unbeliever divorces a Christian. The Bible teaches us that in the marriage covenant we have obligated ourselves to fulfill the terms of the covenant for the length of the covenant- life:
"But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not send his wife away." (1Co.7:10,11 NASB)
The Bible binds a divorced spouse to one of two actions: either remain unmarried till their spouse dies or seek reconciliation. Every Christian who is caught in the position of being divorced must continue to be loyal to their marital covenant leaving them just these same two options. For remarriage is contrary to reconciliation. The moment a divorced person seeks another spouse they are being unfaithful to their marriage covenant and are an adulterer. Some quote:
"But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace." (1Co.7:10,11&15)
The "not bound" does not imply that she is released from the life-long commitment of marriage, for the Bible already established that divorce does not release a person from the marriage covenant. Hence we must conclude that Paul has released them from being bound to pursue reconciliation if the unbelieving spouse wants no part of it- but live in peace unmarried. This becomes clear when we read in the context of the same chapter as the previous two scriptures:
"A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord." (v.39)
The Christian is bound to her spouse as long as he lives, so the "not bound" has nothing to do with the releasing from the covenant of marriage, but rather the freeing of the responsibility to be reconciled to her husband. If we interpret v.15, "Not bound," in light of v.11 we would conclude: that the believer is not bound to pursue reconciliation if the unbelieving spouse will have no part of it--but rather live in peace- unmarried. For God knows her heart and her sincerity in desiring reconciliation and He also knows her loyalty to her marriage as indicated by remaining unmarried. However if she remarries while her spouse lives, she would then be considered in the sin of adultery as she is not being loyal to the one with whom she has made a life long commitment. Therefore a Christian is bound to their spouse as long as he lives, but she is not bound to continue to seek reconciliation if her husband wants no part of it but must be at peace remaining unmarried

        There is some confusion over the state of a person who receives Jesus Christ as Saviour and Lord, yet is already in a second marriage covenant. Some churches say that such a person must divorce their second wife as they are in a state of adultery. However what does the Bible say?
"Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him." (1Co.7:20)
If a person is single, having never entered a marriage covenant, he is free to marry as marriage is ordained by God and is not a sin. Paul in stating his opinion concerning virgins, someone who has not become one flesh with anyone, writes:
Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord….. Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. (1Co.7:25-28)
If a person is divorced when he becomes a Christian, he is still required to keep the life-long commitment that he made in his marriage--even though divorced. However, if a person has been remarried, they are expected to remain in the situation they were in when God called them to be saved, namely being in a present marriage covenant:
"Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches." (1 Cor.7:17)
If a person was divorced and remarried before becoming a Christian, his sin of remarriage committed prior to conversion has been washed clean by the blood of Christ--as are all the sins of his past. For the marriage that was present upon accepting Christ is the position that the person should maintain, as before conversion he acted in ignorance and unbelief. This was the apostle Paul's situation, for before he accepted Christ he persecuted the church:
"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus." (1 Tim.1:12-14)
Before we accepted Christ, we had no grace, faith or love. Sure we might have had some contact with Christians and debated some of their issues. However we did not accept this as truth and so continued to act in ignorance and unbelief outside the church and the Biblical realm of teaching. If we remarry and die in the state if ignorance and unbelief we will perish and go to the place of eternal damnation. As it is written:
"All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law." (Rom.2:12)
Once we receive Christ we receive forgiveness for the past and start in the place of accountability, being judged according to the law of the Spirit (Rom.8:2). If we enter in an adulterous relationship after we receive the knowledge of truth, we need only expect the fires of hell:
"If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of truth, no sacrifice for sins is lift, but only a fearful expectation of judgement and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God." (Heb.10:27-27)
However if the person remarried before the knowledge of truth, it is forgiven the moment he gives his life to the Lord. For another verse reads:
"Brothers, each man as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to." (1 Cor.7:24)
The person who is remarried must remain in the situation he was in when called. If a man practiced polygamy and has five wives at the same time, he must live under the covenant he made with the five wives. In other words, if we are to apply this scripture to someone who is remarried, God is saying that he will forgive the sin of adultery through remarriage because it was done in ignorance and unbelief, and respect the marriage they are now. For before we came under the Lordship of Christ, we all were vile sinners (Rom.3:9-20). Becoming one flesh with others is no less of a sin then adultery through remarriage; if the state of being one with so many can be forgiven as it was done before the knowledge of Christ, then why can't their remarriage also be forgiven. But having been forgiven, God commands that they remain in the situation they were in when he called them. Therefore, when a person who is remarried comes to know the Lord, God forgives him for all the sins of the past, including his remarriage, and accepts him in the present marriage covenant till death.

        If a remarried person must remain in the situation that they were presently in when they became a follower of Christ, we must realize certain restrictions are placed on such a individual. How does ones remarriage, before the knowledge of Christ, restrict one's role in the church? To illustrate this question: Can a person who is remarried before a saving relationship with Christ, become a pastor of a church? Most people do not realize that Pastor is the gift, elder is the office and overseer is the work. All three definitions are describing one and the same:
To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow-elder, a witness of Christ's sufferings and one who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers--not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. (1Pe.5:1-3)
Since a pastor is an elder which does the work of overseeing, the Bible teaches us:
"Now an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife." (1 Ti.3:2)
God has forgiven him of all previous sin- even remarriage, but God does not overlook the fact that he stands as a person with two concurrent marriage covenants. Some cultures permit a man to have more then one wife; can a man who has five wives be an overseer? Jesus said to the Samaritan woman:
"You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband." (Jn.4:17-18)
Jesus did not condemn the Samaritan woman for just living common-law but also for the fact that she had five husbands. By recognizing all her former husbands, Jesus is supporting the concept that one can only be released of a marriage covenant by death. All previous marriage covenants are binding for life and are not dissolved except by the death of all former spouses. The fact that an overseer must be the husband of but one wife denies the office of overseer to a man who has been remarried or marries someone who has made a former marriage covenant, even though it happened before receiving Christ as Lord. As it is written:
"... appoint elders in every town as I have directed you. An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, ..." (Ti.1:5-6)
Furthermore, if an person marries someone who is divorced, they commit adultery by their marriage:
"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (Lk.18:18)
Since one who marries someone who is divorced commits adultery by their marriage, the real question is: "Can a adulterer be an elder?" Let us consider the criteria for an elder:
Since an overseer is entrusted with God's work, he must be blameless… , one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it. (Ti.1:7-9)
Someone who enters an adulterous relationship does not fulfill the criteria listed in the previous verse, hence cannot be an elder. Therefore a man who was remarried before becoming a follower of Christ, must be refused eldership and leadership in the church, even though he is forgiven for the remarriage he is still viewed as being in more then one covenant.

        One of the biggest complications in this whole issue of remarriage is caused when someone who is already in the church either remarries or marries someone who has been divorced. In this case, it is very common to be remarried in a church that encourages remarriage, then later come to a church that refuses remarriage expecting to be accepted. Since the church does not believe that remarriage of a divorced person is Biblical, it presents the elders with the problem of how to correctly deal with this situation. For whether just one or both are Christians, we have someone who accepted Christ and had the access to the scriptures, yet disobeyed and is now presently living with another person's spouse--a state of adultery. Being already Christian prevents the Biblical solution that we applied in a previous paragraph concerning a remarried person accepting Christ, and so another solution must be sought.