April 2000
Recently I had an opportunity to be with a large number of young people. I noticed the large variation in the definition as to what one would call modest dress. As I began to consider this, I started thinking on a definition that would span all cultures and fades. For instance, in some primitive cultures, such as Papua New Guinea, women go around in short grass skirts and no tops. Is this modest? Not in our culture, but in their culture it is perfectly modest. Immodesty is the clothing of oneself in such a way as to attract attention to the areas of the body which a person's culture considers sexual or lascivious (lustful). As I apply this definition to the teenage girls, their dress was immodest. The tight pour-in looking jeans, short skirts, scoop necklines, and the use of lace is to draw attention to the areas of the body which our culture considers sexual. Why do they dress that way? They do it because they are taught society's definition and standards of beauty. Men take notice of females who adorn themselves in such a way. What they do not realize is that when undisciplined men notice, they are in fact lusting after them and their sexuality. When men take notice because of immodest dress, you are in fact tempting men to sin by drawing their attention where it does not belong:
It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honourable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no-one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.(1Th.4:3-8)
When a sister in the Lord causes an immature brother to lust after her, she causes him to sin, which could have eternal consequences:
You have heard that it was said, `Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. (Mt.5:27-29)
I am not saying the man who looks lustfully at a woman is innocent, but rather in this study I am warning women that they are not free from judgement if they dress "immodestly":
As the weeds are pulled up and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of the age. The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. (Mt.13:40-42)
The church should be a haven that is free from immodest dress and lust that it encourages. Years ago a friend of my wife said, "I refuse to shave my legs for Sundays, for if someone is looking at my legs in church, they deserve to be grossed out." How can women/girls know that by their immodest dress, whether they are causing temptation for young Christians who have not been taught how to overcome sin. Jesus said:
Things that cause people to sin
are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied round his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. (Lk.17:1-2)A mature brother might be tempted by Satan because a sister in the Lord refuses to change her mode of dress, but he will rebuke the spirit of temptation. However I like to challenge the Christian sister, why be the cause of the temptation?
It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall. (Ro.14:21 note)
I have heard many Christian teenage girls comment that dressing in a worldly way many makes them feel pretty, and it’s the guys problem if they have wandering eyes. Yet God tells us:
Do not cause anyone to stumble
, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God-- even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. (1Co.10:32-33)If a girl draws attention to areas of her body that are considered sexual in her society, she is partaking in sexual immorality and impurity. The Bible addresses this:
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person--such a man is an idolater--has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no-one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them. (Eph.5:3-7)
Both men and women need to deal with immodest dress, putting it to death by nailing it to the cross.
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust
, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. (Co.3:5-7)Therefore women will not be consider innocent if they dress in such a way as to cause their brothers to be tempted to lust after them.
One thing I learned from fishing is to always use the type of bait that will attract the type of fish you want to catch. In other words, different fish go after different bait. We need to apply this logic to dress: If you want a worldly man , dress in a worldly fashion. The Bible teaches us:
I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety
, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. (1Ti.2:9-10)If you want a godly man, dress modestly; and focus on living a godly life. Modesty is the clothing of oneself in such a way as to distract attention from the areas of the body which a person's culture considers sexual or lascivious (lustful), while attracting attention to the character of their spirit. By distracting attention away from the body and presenting one's godly character- the beauty of the spirit, one will attract godly men. I have heard some women say things to the effect of: "The only men attracted to me are those interested in my body." If all you attract is piranha, I suggest you change the bait. Peter addresses this when we read:
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment
, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. (1Pe.3:2-5)We must teach our children that mankind is a dichotomy; the world's values are not the same as the churches. Jesus said:
You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight. (Lu.16:15)
I think the Bible concludes the subject of modesty the best when we read:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Ro.12:1-2)