February, 2001
Warning:
this material may not be suitable for all ages, parental permission is required before children are allowed to read this month’s thought. I am not usually this frank, but it is vital that the church address this issue. I was at a church pot-luck when two elders made sexual comments about the single mom as she dealt with her young child. One youth worker was sharing with me that Christian young people have no idea what sexual immorality constitutes. If you ever worked with youth, some of the questions and comments they drop will amaze you because their candidness. Because of the accessibility of the site to young children, I will not shock you by tales of what is acceptable in the eyes of some Christianized youth. But yet how far is too far, or when will God say you crossed the line? Society keeps spiraling downward in immorality. When you figured you heard the worst, you hear another youth’s opinion, and it blows you away. Where are they getting it from? Probably the television, movies, magazines or even more surprisingly their health class in school. Or a better question is, "What is the Church doing to stop the flood of sexual immorality among our youth?" First, God’s Word is the final authority in all matters of life:All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2Ti.3:16-17)
If we turn to the worldly media and instructional material, count on your children being worldly:
Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God--I say this to your shame. (1Co.15:33-34)
The youth of today are ignorant of the things of God, and some of the youth workers are not any better, giving personal opinion instead of Scriptural principles. If we give youth opinions, they will pick and choose, but back the views with scripture and you cannot loose. For man’s ways are changing as they follow the herd, but God’s Word is unchanging and will not return void. We can always find someone who will agree with us, for this reason we are taught:
…learn from us the meaning of the saying, "Do not go beyond what is written." Then you will not take pride in one man over against another. (1Co.4:6)
We must go to the Scriptures to understand the game that is being played: Girls play with guys’ minds by their actions and dress; while guys play with girls’ hearts by what they say and do. For by playing with their minds, the girls tempt guys with lust; but by manipulating girls’ hearts, guys leave hearts irreparably crushed. God does care what we do to each others’ hearts and minds:
‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, `Love your neighbor as yourself.' (Lk.10:27)
If we are Christian, then we are God’s servants; and as such we will have to give an account to God for the things we have done. For we are warned:
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. (Ga.6:7-8)
It is only right that if you work toward something your should receive your reward. The reward for sexual immorality is to find yourself outside the kingdom of God
The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Ga.5:19-20 note 1Co.6:9-11)
Many know that going all the way- having sexual intercourse- is wrong, so they stop at that point. We need to know what constitutes "and the like", for it too keeps one out the kingdom of God. For we read:
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person--such a man is an idolater--has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no-one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient. (Eph.5:3-6 note Re.21:8; Re.22:15)
Since there are eternal consequences for those who commit sexual immorality, we need to know when we cross the line. The youth need to know how far is too far. Jesus said:
"You have heard that it was said, `Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Mt.5::27-28)
If we look lustfully at a woman, we have already sinned- by God’s definition. Let me clarify the difference between sin and temptation. Jesus was tempted just as we are:
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. (He.5:15)
If Jesus was tempted just as we are but was without sin, there is a point when temptation becomes sin. Consider the third temptation of Christ while in the desert:
Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me." Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: `Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'" Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him. (Mt.4:8-11)
Jesus was taken to a place of temptation, visualized all the nations of the world from there, was given a complete thought presenting a course of action, and tempted with gratification. This was all part of the temptation, for Christ never sinned. The initial thought that is presented is a temptation and not sin. Satan may place a thought in your mind: "Look at that revealing neckline on her dress, you can almost see some cleavage." That initial thought is temptation, but to continue fantasizing is sin. We know that we have already crossed the line between temptation and sin when our body reacts physically to the temptation. If one experiences the slightest wetting in the pubic area, and for guys the slightest erection, they have already sinned if it is not their spouse. This applies to the physical arena as well. How far can you go? If I remember my dating era, French-kissing is definitely out, as it definitely brought on a physical reaction. It is like a car; some cars come with gauges that monitor vital functions so you can know if one function is reaching a critical point. Other cars have "idiot lights", red lights that says "oil" and "temperature". When the red light comes on, that function has reached a critical point, and we must turn off the engine. In our dealings with the opposite sex outside of marriage, there are many indicators that confirm we have a God-pleasing relationship. If we ignore these gauges of a healthy relationship, we will react at some point with a physical reaction. This is God’s "idiot light" that says to get out of that situation immediately just as Joseph did (Ge.39). Our physical reaction is the red "idiot light" telling us that we have sinned, a gauge God has provided to let us know what is saved for marriage. Can you hold hands, hug or kiss? I cannot say, but monitor your own thoughts and body and you will know your own limitations. I am not going to lay down law, rather the principles God has given us:
Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. (1Ti.5:1-2)
If we greet and treat our girlfriends a sisters and our boyfriends as brothers, it is highly unlikely that we will ever react physically. If you conclude that you have already gone to far, then we are told:
Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The Lord knows those who are his," and, "Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness." (2Ti.2:19)
If the person you are dating refuses to treat you with absolute purity, you have only one recourse:
I have written to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people-- not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you." (1Co.5:9-13)
Therefore, the question for Christians should never be "How far can I go?", but "How pure can I be?"; let us love each other in absolute purity, for this you can be sure:
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. (He.13:4)